the script of fiction

One protagonist leans toward to be the clown.

he want to chose his own life by himself.

but he can't do it.

because he want to be seen as a good man,as one gentleman who is kind to other people especially towards his girlfriend.

his real thinking is not like his behavior.

he actually hopes that not only occupy his girlfriend but also occupy another girl.

but he dislike his this thinking.

so he tried to vanish this thinking.

but he eventually didn't do it.

he wanna be a good,pure,having a good mind man for a long time and because of it, he was fallen under the control of his own hope.

He was married with his girlfriend.

the circumstances that be fallen in the control of his mind was still existing.

at that time also he still want to be a good man.

and eventually he cheated on his wife.

he get a girl and slept with her together in the night.

but he can't be freed of his mind that let him fall in the control for a long time.

so by way of conclusion he couldn't get some identity from this experience.

He can't get any identity.

there are only him.

he is him.

except this there are nothing.

identitiy is not gotten by seeking truth in his experience.

identity is in himself.